Aug7Written by:BlogForLadies
8/7/2011 5:02 PM 
Today is the last day of 2009, and never have I been more excited about the beginning of a year like I am this time. In the past, a day like this brought pain and regret because all I did was throw a huge pity party where I feasted on painful memories of what I was not able to accomplish, how many people had hurt me and what unfair circumstances I had encountered. Since a party is not complete without the sweet treats- dessert to be precise, I dug deep into the tasteless cake of despair as I hoped that the following year would be different. Well, as we all know, if you do the same thing, you always get the same results. I knew that concept full well so I had my strategies all written up- the strategies called resolutions. I believed in my own psyche. Yes, I was psyched to lose the weight and fit into a size 14 dresses (That’s all I want believe me. I love being a big girl) and of course that would make me attractive I believed. I would also save more, maybe twenty percent of my pay, I was going to invest (It was that plain as I didn’t know what to invest in), I was going to be nicer, I was going to…. The list was endless. I had the following year’s manual all written out, just waiting to be implemented the following day- the 1st of the year. Of course we all know how the story goes; we have all been there. Nothing worked and in two days, I was the old Doreen again- and totally frustrated for being me. I wanted to be better!
This year is different. This is the first time that I have spent a great deal of time worshipping God for all He has done for me. This year, I choose to testify of the goodness of the Lord. He has been my rock; I have found safety in him. He has led me to secret places where he showered me with his love. I would not ask for more. The word of God says that we overcome by the word of our testimony and the blood of the lamb, and so let me testify of my father’s goodness. The Lord has done miraculous things for my family. He came through for us in an area that we had struggled with for a long time. My mom got an extension at her place of work, and was able to acquire a property we were trusting in the Lord for. He sustained my grandma who is fighting a terminal disease. God has given me so much favour. He protected all those that I love- family and friends, He aligned me with a wonderful church where I have been growing spiritually. He even opened a new door for me- to be involved in a radio ministry, and revealed a talent I never even knew I had! So when they call me DJ Dee, I know that God truly thinks well of me. Look what he has done! He has come through for me is so many ways.
Yes, I will admit that there are still some hard places in my life, but this year, I am not looking at myself as the source (implementer of the resolutions). I am looking at my huge powerful God. On my own, I recognize that I have no power to change anything, but there is one who lives in me that loves me so much, who has great plans for my life and who will take me to the next level in his own time. Today, I am not exalting the difficulties I face; I am exalting the great I AM. What peace, what joy, what comfort!
For a very long time, I have looked within me for answers thinking that if I worked harder, if I planned better, if I tried harder, then I would make it. When that didn’t work, I drew the conclusion the Lord was against me. But today, I realize that the Lord has never been and will never be against me. He is for me- for us, and nothing can defeat us. Today, I choose to exercise faith, the kind that moves mountains, raises the dead, divides the sea into two and brings down walls. The kind of faith that pleases my father. This year, I choose to trust God and look at him alone. Next year will be a blessed year, because God has changed my heart.
This is a call to all those who are struggling in different ways. To those who are disappointed with life because there are mountains that just won’t move for anything. The beginning of the year might give you a false hope because of the temporary energy we get from new things. But you know that if that’s all you are banking on, you are bound to fail. I invite you to the loving arms of a God who calls you child, who loves you so much. All things work together for the good of those that love the Lord, and if you give him your hard place, he will see you through. Just let him have his way, as you put all your hope and trust in him.
I am expectant, I am hopeful and excited that God has brought me this far. This coming year, I only hope that I will grow spiritually and my greatest desire is to have a heart like my father’s. To be broken by the things that break his heart and to glory in the things that make his heart glad. To give to those that are hurting and to ministries that spread his word to the un churched corners of this world. Before this starts to look like resolutions, let me leave you with the encouraging words of Isaiah 41:10-20- So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand….I will make rivers flow on barren heights and springs within the valleys. I will turn the desert into pools of water and the parched ground into springs. I will put in the desert the cedar and the acacia, the myrtle and the olive. I will set pines in the wasteland, the fir and the cypress together, so that people may see and know, may consider and understand, that the hand of the Lord has done this, that the Holy one of Israel has created it. No one whose hope is in the Lord will be disappointed. Hope in the Lord I say. Be encouraged as you start the new year. He who watches over you neither slumbers nor sleeps and has good thoughts concerning your life. This coming year will be wonderful. You will be okay. Be blessed.